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Whos in Charge of your Emotions?
The field of Quantum Physics and Science is continually studying energy, particles, atoms, molecules and their movement. They have observed how they interact inside and outside of us. It has been proven that we are just energy, therefore we are connected to everything and everyone else. I will touch on this in another article, as it is quite literally mind blowing, and could change the way you view life forever. As we are just energy, so are our emotions and thoughts. Imagine your body like an energy sensing device, like a radio that tunes into different frequencies. Whatever you are thinking or feeling will affect the energy outside yourself and will in fact be reflected back to you. How we feel also affects our behaviours and our results in our lives. When you think of a pleasant memory like joy, happiness or contentment you are more likely to feel inspired or motivated to do something positive and that will move you toward an outcome. Negative states like worry, anger or frustration usually cause you to feel “bad” and usually cause people to become stuck and stall. Think of a time when you got caught up in a negative emotion. What happened?
So, imagine for a moment that your emotions are your unconscious mind’s messaging system. When you feel a negative emotion, realise that your unconscious mind is just trying to send you a message, to get you to look at something. If you could understand the message and interpret it differently you will then be able to change something, let it go and get a better result.
How we do this. The first thing to do when you feel an unwanted emotion like anger or hurt, is to practice observing it and recognise which emotion it is from the following list. The second thing to do is to find another meaning so you can either change your perspective, thought or behaviour. Bear in mind that every feeling you have, good or bad, is not based on the actual reality of life but by your own interpretation of the meaning you gave the event. I have listed below ten categories of emotions. As there are often various degrees of each category of emotions I have included these as well. I will discuss the first five in this article and the last five in another article in a couple of weeks, to give you time to work on these ones.
Fear - this may include concern, worry, apprehension, feeling terrified. Hurt - this includes pain Anger - this includes anything from mild irritation to being furious, livid, resentful or absolute rage. Frustration Guilt - or any emotions of regret Disappointment Inadequacy - anything that makes you feel less than or unworthy. Overload - overwhelm, stress, hopelessness, depression or immobilisation Loneliness. Uncomfortable – or any feeling related to one of uncomfortable
If you feel something that isn’t above, like jealousy, ask yourself what do you really feel? What is it that is causing you to be jealous? Is it anger, fear or hurt? There will be something driving the jealousy. Here are the first five.
FEAR. Fear is the biggest stopper in life. It stops people from taking action, achieving their goals and living a full life. The message here is simply that you need to prepare yourself to deal with something that is about to happen, to avoid the negative consequences. For instance, if you are fearful before you give a talk, perhaps if you are honest it is because you haven’t practised enough or you don’t know the topic. Make sure that next time you practice more and are more prepared. If you are fearful of going on a date or meeting a new group of people it may be because you are allowing yourself to project into the future, to fall into that “what if” trap. Know that nothing is certain. You may have a great time and you may not. Choose to focus on the option that takes up less energy and would get a better result. Bring your focus back to the here and now and ask if there is anything you need to do to prepare. If not try to look at it from a different perspective to give it a new meaning that allows you to change something.
HURT. When you feel hurt in your life, the message here is that you have an expectation that has not been met. Consequently, you feel some sense of loss which causes that hurt feeling. For example, imagine you have had a bad day at work, you get home and you just want some attention from your partner. However, imagine that they have had a bad day too and just want some space. You feel they are ignoring you, so you choose to feel hurt. Take stock of the situation and look at it from another perspective. Is this really an appropriate way to feel and react based on the situation? Is the timing perhaps not right or could you be coming across clingy and needy? Do you need to respect their boundaries and give them some space? Or, could you change the way you are communicating. State your needs and tell them why you need what you want. For example “I know you are busy, but I just need.......” Communicate in a different way or realise the timing just might not be appropriate right now.
ANGER. If you feel angry in your life, the message here is that there is an important rule you have in your life that has been violated by someone else or by you. Realise that you are choosing to feel angry and if their behaviour is unacceptable you don’t have to take it on. You can ignore it, walk away or communicate in a different manner. If you are angry with yourself ask yourself what else could this mean? What action could you take to get out of this state? Do you need to go outside, change the environment, your behaviour or perspective?
FRUSTRATION. The message here is that you may need to look at yourself, and change your approach to get the result you want. Ask what else could this frustration mean? Is it something you can change or do you need to look at it differently, seek help or try something else?
GUILT. The message here is that you have violated one of your own standards and you must do something now to make sure you don’t violate it again. Learn and change something. If you often feel guilty it can also mean that you have some old programming and memories in your unconscious mind, past associations that are still hooked up. Storing guilt does no good. You may need to spend some time asking yourself where did the guilt come from? What belief did you accept or what meaning did you put on an event that has caused you to continually feel guilty? If you have problems with changing the belief or letting go of the guilt give me a call as I can help you with this.
So, understand the message behind the emotion and see if you can change the meaning, your perspective or behaviour to get a better result and see how this improves your relations in your life. I guarantee that you will notice a change.
This month I am focusing on our emotions, how to understand the message behind negative or unwanted emotions so that you can interpret them and put a new meaning on them. How would your life change if you could just let go of negative feelings like anger, frustration, guilt or worry?
Mandy Napier BSc Personal Performance Coach Phone 0408 666 176 |